Own it! Live it! Love It!

My father has taught me many things but one that shapes how I live my life is this…If you do or say something, be woman enough to admit you did it or said it IF the occasion arises that you must own your behavior.  

When I am making a decision I ask myself, “If the Wall Street journal or New York Post runs this story, is it worth it to me?” 

When you make a decision for your life, be woman (or man) enough to own your choice. Sometimes, as a woman of strength and character, you have to make unpopular decisions that are best for you. Other times you just decide that you are a grown woman and you can do and say whatever you choose. In any case, if you choose to do or say it, you must be prepared to own it.  Otherwise, you can set yourself up for a life of guilty regret.

There is nothing worse than being in a situation because of a decision you were either bullied into or just weren't fully onboard with the decision.  We all have had these moments on small scales.  You knew you should not have had that last drink but everybody was having a great time and bought another round. The next morning when you feel like your head is spinning, you are even more angry with yourself because you knew you should not have done it, but you caved to the pressure or maybe you were just trying to be polite. Though a hangover is an easy fix with some Gatorade and Tylenol, other life decisions are a bit stickier. So you need to be wise and move through life at your own pace and on your own terms.

Living your life free to make decisions by your rules is a liberty that most women do not get to enjoy. Societal and family pressure can force us into a life of martyrdom. In order to live a life of freedom to "woman up" to your actions you have to go through a very methodical process of decision making where you ask yourself a list of questions to become certain of exactly what you want to do. For example:

Will I be okay if this turns out differently? 
Will I be angry if it turns out badly?  
Am I doing this because I'm afraid?
Is this something I really want to do or am I being motivated by others?
Will I admit to this action if ever I need to?  

This self examination is particularly important when making relationship decisions.  I knew I was ready to leave my ex-husband when I got to the point where the honest answers to my questions made it abundantly clear what I really wanted to do.

Will I be upset if I see him with another woman? Nope.
Will I be upset if my life is not a success without him? Nope.
Will I be upset if he goes on to be a monster success without me? Nope.
Will I be upset if I never find another man?

Okay! Okay!  I didn't really ask myself that last question but some of you might be thinking that this is your last shot at love. Trust me. If you are asking yourself questions...it is not your last shot.   I finally got to a point where my questioning made me realize that I felt like I could be living in a paper bag and see him ride by in the back of a Maybach having sex with my baby sister and I would still be okay with my decision to leave (and feeling sorry for her).  Yeah, at that point it was time to go.

Sometimes it's not a matter of IF you'll do something, but WHEN you'll do it.  Don't make life-changing decisions until you can wholly own them. You may know what you want to do right now, but you may not be ready to do it. That's okay.  Stay focused on the goal and go at your own pace. 

Here's my rule. I make decisions based upon how the spirit of God leads me and not based upon what others may think, say or do in response to my actions.  I also don't let other's interpretations of what "God says" drive my understanding of my destiny and purpose in life.  For me, there is no blame when things go bad and no credit when they go well.  It is merely, the way my life journey progresses and I own every single step because I'm walking in my shoes...Size 9, 5-inch, strappy Jimmy Choos made just for me.