Seeking Truth: The 3rd Time is Alarm




Steve Harvey has a book called "Straight Talk, No Chaser" which is a sequel to "Think Like A Man".   In part of the book, Steve gives women advice on how to get the truth from a man. He says you have to ask the same question three times in three different ways.  Seriously?  Who has time for that?

Harvey says the first answer will be the answer that makes him look good. The second answer will be the answer he thinks you want and the third answer will be CLOSE to the truth. Close?  I have to ask you three different times in three different ways to get "close" to the truth?  That's entirely unacceptable.

Relationships between two honest and committed individuals take a lot of work. You must endure money issues, family issues, work issues, etc.  There are stressors outside of the relationship that affect mood and attitude that can cause stress in the relationship.  On top of all of that I have to get the truth out of you in triplicate?  No way!

Here is why that's dangerous:

#1 If a woman knows she can't get close to the truth until the third time she asks, then you train her to ignore your first two responses.  If she makes a habit of ignoring most of what you say, it will be a matter of time before she ignores your voice completely even when the truth is not at stake. Ignoring becomes indifference and indifference can become infidelity so tell the truth the first time.

#2 If a man makes a habit of telling a woman only what she wants to hear then she will expect everything out of his mouth to be completely aligned with her views and wishes. Therefore, when he tells her something she doesn't like, there will undoubtedly be high drama. So "no" will be out of the question.  A woman who is never told "no" may begin to do whatever she likes...which could end up being a "whoever" she likes.  So don't make a habit of telling her what she wants to hear. Tell her the truth-the first time.

There are plenty of good things about the number three. But when truth is at stake, three strikes and you're out! Some say three is the number of completion.  I like that because if it takes you three times to tell me the truth our relationship is sorely finished.

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