Mix and Match...Friendship Choices

In close friendships the chemistry between women is much more important that the chemistry between men. For the most part, men can interact with one another with little bias.  They can drink a beer, high-five, watch the game and not really care much about the other guys views as long as he is cheering for the same team. On the other hand, women can get a "vibe" from other women that renders a girls night out into a disaster among divas.

Don't get me wrong. Men require a balance of chemistry, just at a different level than women do.  For instance, a man with a lot of swagger and confidence in the way he does things will choose not to spend time with a "sucker" or "hater".  Outdoorsy guys don't build close relationships with metrosexuals. Notice in these instances that the two personality traits are basically opposing.

In contrast, "there's just something about her" is enough for a woman not to build a close relationship with someone who could turn out to be a loyal friend.  I understand this well, because I have formed many relationships with girlfriends who later tell me that they "had me all wrong".  My personal knowledge of human behavior helps me to move past these initial biases without being turned-off by the person. After all, you guys know my motto. "If I wasn't me, I would probably hate me too."  Consequently, I have chosen some very close girlfriends who I might have never met if I let the first thirty seconds of stank determine our fate.

So we choose to be around people who are like us. Sure, we may have a few minor differences in our circle but for the most part, our crew is tightly linked.  But is that the best thing for our social and emotional development?  Maybe not.

If we insulate ourselves with people who think like us and act like us, then we run the risk of stunting our growth and awareness of the world around us.  Likewise, if we surround ourselves with people of our own race, we begin to lose the ability to interact with diverse cultures and perspectives. Ultimately, the world passes us by and we become rather educated idiots.

You get the most out of life when you mix and match your relationships. You should have friends of different races, religions, and ideals.  And I don't mean the one (white/black/gay/immigrant/single/) friend that comes to your Christmas party every year. I mean someone that you speak to on a regular basis.

The irony in building diverse social relationships is that you begin to realize that human beings have a fundamental similarity in love, health, and happiness. When you build diverse social relationships you broaden your perspective on life....and improve your chances of being POTUS. :-)


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