Sugar and Spice, But Not So Nice

What are little girls made of? made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and everything nice
That's what little girls are made of?

Just when I start to believe that it is becoming passé to write about the way women treat each other somebody starts acting up in the world.  I was standing in the line at the grocery store and saw Gabby Douglas on the cover of people magazine. What a cute little girl! Gabby Douglas was born in 1995. So, you can imagine my response when I hear of women born before 1975 criticizing her hair while she's winning a gold medal.  Not nice! 

Difficult women are hard on other women. We know this.   But hard on little girls too? Has the competition among women become so intense that there is no longer an age requirement in the game?  I realized joy, confidence, and success at any age is a threat to "not-nice" women.  Gabby Douglas achieved one of her life dreams at the age of sixteen while many women in their 30s and 40s are still brooding daily about not being who or what they wanted to be.  Their tiny minds and miniature esteem cannot accept a little girl being the greatest gymnast in the world. They have to focus on her hairstyle while she's winning because that's the only way they will be able to fall asleep at night. 

Isn't that really why women are hard on each other?  It's not that the presence of another woman bothers difficult women. It's that the presence of a confident and happy woman bothers a not-nice woman.  Success doesn't even really bother this type of woman. If you are successful in work but miserable in your personal life, you will still have plenty of girlfriends.  If you have a great family life, but you are unhappy with your contribution to the world, these women won't have a problem with you either. But if you are happy with whatever your life has become - work, stay-at-home, make money, don't make money, married, divorced, single - you better watch out, my sister.  This is precisely why my motto is this....

"If you love me, I love you.  If you hate me, I still love you because if I wasn't me, I'd probably hate me too."  

I'm well aware that I am hard to be around for many women. They feel competitive and it's hard to compete when you don't know what race I'm running.  You see, I'm running the Kamryn Adams marathon - trying to beat Kamryn Adams.  When it appears like I have failed in some attempt (like I SO cannot sing, but it doesn't stop me from singing) I am still just as happy and pleased with my life. Being competitive with other women is a waste of energy that you could be using to be the best YOU possible.  I'm trying to maximize my gifts and minimize my gaps. So I'll let you in on a little secret... I am not checking for you while I'm running my race.  It is a complete waste of your time to point out my inadequacies to make yourself feel better because when you see me embrace my gaps with a smile, it's going to piss you off even more. 

However, as a "nice girl" I am concerned about how being a spectator at my race may make you feel. I want to uplift other women. I want you to watch my race and start running your own to win. Successful women who work to make other women envious are also classified as "not nice".  You are not a hater but you want to build a hater nation around you.  You need to gain your confidence by making other women feel bad about themselves.  As a "nice girl"  if I know my presence shines a light on just how unhappy you are with yourself,  I will stay away from you because I love you and I want you to love yourself.   It's not my intent to share my life and make you feel bad. I share my life to encourage you because if I can build a happy life, so can you.  When you do, you'll find that you'll be more focused on  celebrating the achievements of other women and less focused the chipped nail polish of a women who threatens  you. 

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