Love Can Be Like a Box of Chocolates

Kamryn Quote: “Love is like a box of chocolates. There are alot of different flavors to satisfy your taste.”

Some people say that dating outside of your race is a big deal. Some say they have never thought about dating outside of their race. A few lost souls may even suggest that it is wrong to do so. As a lifetime student of this thing called love, I say “it depends”.

Dating outside of your race isn’t as much about skin color as it is cultural background and behavior. If you grew up eating your mother’s fried chicken and collard greens, you may have a hard time marrying a woman whose idea of soul food is potato chips and chocolate candy. (Though surely good for the soul.) If you grew up in a culture where the father is the sole provider and you marry a man who expects you to work, you may have some issues. Sure, these things can happen between people of the same race, but the likelihood that there will be major differences in behavior and mindset are greater in interracial relationships. Sometimes.

Two people coming together brings two worlds together. People were opponents of interracial dating because of ”the children” but I suspect all that has gone away with the browning of America in most intelligent populations. Advocates of dating outside of your race have always said “we’re all the same, regardless of color”. Not true either. If you didn’t have a black mother, you are going to have to adjust to having a black mother-in-law. Trust me! Growing up with a black mother is no day at the spa.

Here’s the deal: Love is the only reason to marry outside your race. Love is the only reason to marry anyone.
Here are 5 reasons NOT to date/marry outside of your race:

#1 You want something exotic.
#2 You are fed up with the men/women in your own race.
#3 You believe the stereotypes of the culture i.e. “All Asian women are docile” or “Black women are sexual beasts”.
#4 You believe dating a certain race elevates your social status.
#5 You want pretty children.

Love is hard enough to find in this world of broken, bruised, and flawed people. I say if you find it, jump! If you find it outside of your race, then that’s where you find it. Whether you choose to date outside of your race or you just can’t shake the flava of your mama’s cooking or your daddy’s swag find love wherever you can. Don’t judge either side of the issue because it’s all a matter of perspective.

Tough Girl, How's That Workin' For Ya?

I absolutely love being a woman.  We are such unique creations of God. We have gifts and strength that men do not possess. We are incredibly valuable to the circle of life. It's unfortunate that all women don't realize how powerful, beautiful, and marvelous it is to be a woman. Instead...they choose to be "other".  To me there is nothing worse than an insecure, petty, manipulative, hate-filled, or drama-filled woman. God help us if one woman possesses all of these traits.
I’ve dedicated the majority of my adult life to helping women get on track. I don't have all the answers but I can use my many mistakes in life to encourage, inspire, and uplift women so they can become all that their hearts desire. However, when I see women who cannot respect the position of another woman, it warrants a good old fashioned…blog post.  Play your position and stay out of my lane because over here… you just may get run over.  
I wish every woman possessed the assurance of self that she could be comfortable in her own skin.  You can’t let the beauty, grace, or spiral curls of another woman provoke you to jealousy or desperation.  Your gifts and talents are yours alone. Celebrate them without infringing on the glory of the woman next to you…or after you. You’re fabulous in your own way. Work it!
In no other situation is this behavior most evident than the “ex factor”.  A broken woman is affected by the ex factor in one two ways. 1) She is in competition with old ghosts and busy showing the ex-girlfriend/babymama her flavor…artificial flavor rather than working on the current relationship. 2) She’s the ex-girlfriend/baby mama that can’t stand to see her ex happy with a new woman so “she wants that old thing back”. Rather than focusing on self-development…lose weight, stop smoking, take a cooking class, she spins her wheels on empty rhetoric to build her esteem only to be let down again. Stop the madness, ladies!
Women need to be real with themselves and check the motivation behind their actions. Those of us without a mask recognize those chicks that “fake it til they make it”.  Those chicks never really do figure it out.  When women mistreat and compete with each other with petty false confidence it’s probably because somewhere along the way they felt unloved, unwanted, and inadequate.  They are unhappy with themselves, therefore, unable to be happy for anyone else.  Not only will this toxicity cause them emotional pain, it will be a repellant to healthy, stable, and fulfilling relationships with friends and in romance. 
Being "bad" isn't about humiliating other women and standing toe to toe with men. Being "bad" is about understanding your power as a woman and your unique talents and gifts.  So you still think that smart mouth and nasty attitude make you the baddest chick?  How’s that workin’ for ya?