Nature, Nurture, and Your Fabulous Self

Who are you?  You are a combination of your life experiences and the genetic pool that was constructed before you ever hit the blue drape. You are...who you are and you should love it. At a minimum, you should accept it.

During my so-called "childhood", I was immersed into adult scenarios, situations, problems, and predicaments. But don't shed a tear for me. Those same scenarios helped me to realize that I was a relatively privileged child. Despite all of that "stuff" I had an adolescence filled with fun, laughter, learning, and confidence building experiences. I was blessed to have parents who demanded only the best from me academically and socially. I had an extended family and friends that adored me, building my confidence with every passing year.  My brain was trained to compartmentalize life's issues while driving toward achievement of  my goals. These are life skills I use daily. Nurture.

I was also created with what I consider a pretty damn good set of genes-minus a few health related mishaps and this hideous pubescent male bellow I have for a laugh. My innate intelligence is an inherited trait that was nurtured into something great because my parents recognized my cognitive ability. My IQ is....none of your business. But it's more than a hundred points higher than my age- which is also none of your business.  Don't forget the American myopic standard of beauty, by which I am considered one of the "beautiful people".  Nature.

It's not nature vs. nurture. It's nature AND nurture. Together, in perfect balance, they make you who you are and you need to start appreciating the time God took to make you special. Stop complaining about your parents. They were just the two people to give you a cleft chin, long eyelashes and screw you up enough to build some critical problem solving skills. I know you grew up poor, but  now you are thriving in this "recession" because you learned to hold on to a dollar bill so tight that President Washington screamed.  You are quirky. We all are. You have some "stuff" from your nature and "issues" from your nurture that make you the perfect candidate to be YOU.  If you have things you want to change about yourself, go ahead and try it. But if it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up about it. You are who you are and who you are is who you were created to be. Got it? Good.

Tell 'em Kamryn said it.

Success is A Hard Choice

I fly high with eagles and so my vision is keen. God created me with a large portion of empathy...which is truly a gift and a curse. I try to help others fly high in their own paths but once I see you are more comfortable with the pigeons or you think you can get waaaaay up here by talking instead of walking I have to let you go. The evidence of your effort surrounds you. Look at your life. Are you where you want to be? If not start with just a few simple things.

First, get your heart right FOR REAL. Until you can be real with your internal feelings the rest is futile. Stop saying you are not a hater because that burning feeling when you see someone in abundant peace and joy is hate. That urge you have to criticize the personality and choices of someone who is happy with themselves is hate. Once you can keep it a hundred with yourself, which is hard to do, then you have to begin making the hard choices.

Re-evaluate your friendships. Get rid of people who pull you down and aren't on the same plan as you. If you love Jesus and they glamorize Lucifer it isn't going to work. If you believe in hard work and they believe in "fake it til you make it" then you have to cut them loose.

Re-prioritize your family. Your extended family has made choices that may differ from your own. You cannot pull them along to your detriment. That includes freeing yourself from financial and emotional bondage caused by the choices of others. When your sister chooses to pay her $600 car payment and asks you to pay her rent, say NO.

Learn to sacrifice. Have a savings plan to get what you want and need. Buy property before your luxury car. Everyone knows I love shoes, bags, and things. But I bought my first single family home at 29 and my first town home at 27. After that I bought my Benz, BMW, Volvo and other non-appreciating assets like Louis Vuitton bags and Chanel sandals. Prioritize! ( if you have that burning feeling right now, you need to check yourself)

Do not be led by your feelings. Feelings are over-rated and I have never met a successful person who always chooses fun and feeling over doing the hard work. When you "feel" something take the time to research, plan, and evaluate if your "feeling" is substantiated.

Be resilient. You are going to suffer set backs along the way. You may take a well meaning detour or two but do not lose focus on what you want for your life. Protect your destiny at all costs. Life is real and real stuff happens. Keep your head out of the clouds and your mind set in faith to achieve all the you want to achieve. Keep making hard choices to get back on track. DON'T EVER GIVE UP!