|The Real Wives of Somerset County|
|20 plus years of friendship and still going strong|
The Jersey shore has become quite famous as of late since Snookie and 'em hit the TV. So I decided to head "down the shore" for lunch on the beach. If Miami's South Beach is known for it's beautiful breasts then the Jersey shore is most likely known for its bulging bellys. My lunch at the beach turned out to be one big "C'mon son" (to quote Ed Lover).
Young girls in bikinis with stomachs hanging over proudly displayed jiggling thighs with cellulite and enough back fat for a Thanksgiving pot of collard greens. The beaches on the Jersey shore are a clear indication that obesity is prevalent in the US. But it is not the fault of these poor misguided beach bunnies. It is our fault -the grown women who would rather squeeze into a spandex sock than hit the gym for aerobics or simply hit the floor for cruntches. When I say OUR i mean y'all because your girl does not own a pair of Spanxx and I am proud to say it.
The ol' six pact has become a nice, smooth, slightly convex tummy that still rocks a bikini with a VS mid scoop bottom. But I am over 35 years old and have had two kids. There is no reason for a healthy 14 year old girl to be overweight except that her mother doesn't make her exercise nor make her eat right. Why? Because mama throws on her Spanxx in the morning and goes out the door- a facade of fabulosity.
Hair weaves, wigs, fake nails, and body shapers have made us loose focus on what is most important- our physical health and well being, not just our physical appearance. That extra ring around your waist has been proven to lower your life expectancy and increase your risk of cardiovascular disease. You don't have to ditch the Spanxx, but you do need to lead a healthy life. Let's face it. We, chicks in our prime can use extra support because things aren't as tight as when we were younger. But lets set an example for the young girls by caring enough to care for ourselves. Then, we grant them permission to do the same by example.
- Tell 'em Kamryn said it!
These days your man can have "sex" with a cyber babe that doesn't talk back or require reciprocity of orgasm. And ladies, that new Mac can offer pages and pages of loyal men who will be there every time you click in. If you are more the relationship type, Facebook and Twitter may garner you hundreds, even thousands, of people to talk to everyday. But what about human intimacy?
There is not a intel processor in the universe that can deliver the warmth and safety of a women's vagina. I don't know of any nations that will fight over an iPod touch, but decade long wars are fought over women. The very existence of technology is spawned in the pursuit of a woman's touch. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs continue their pursuit of success for one foundational reason...coochie! More gadgets, more money, more money, more power and prestige, more p&p leads to getting plenty of the other "P".
Think I'm lying? Ladies, the next time your man is in the midst of his most crucial moments of Call of Duty "Black Ops" unzip his pants and offer to give him a lil bit. See what happens. The creative mind behind Xbox will probably tell you that was the reason they started putting SSD cards in game consoles. ;)