COMMUNICATION Rule #1 -Less is More

When it comes to bagging the man of your dreams there is one critical rule to remember from the start...less is more when it comes to sharing.  If ol' boy ends up being the ONE, you have your entire life to share everything with him.  The first date is not the time to divulge all of  your secret desires and fears.  NO MAN...and I mean NO MAN wants to hear all that early in the game. He'll sit and listen because he's trying to "hit it" so he dare not jeopardize his chances. But inside of his head he is only hearing "Blah Blah Blah...I've been hurt....blah blah blah...I've got issues....blah blah blah."

There are some things that are definitely off limits during the courting time of a relationship:

#1.   The Ex Failure
The new guy is not spending his hard earned cash on dinner and a movie to hear all about the last guy.  I know, women.  You think that by telling him about how messed up your last guy was that he will make a mental note not to make the same mistake. Not so! Not in the beginning.  Guys aren't making any "mental notes" about the future on dates 1-3. Trust me!  If he's intently watching your lips move he's probably wondering about how well you perform orally. He is NOT trying to figure out how to be better than the last guy. 

#2.  The History Lesson
Take a breather, girlfriend.  The guy isn't trying to know your entire life history in one sitting of buffalo wings. He's there to have some laughs and decide whether or not there will be a date #2. You want to impress him with your mouth piece? Talk about current events, sports, something that is "safe" and provides for dialogue not a diatribe. Remember your goal on date #1 is to get a second date not for him to go to Jared

#3 The Ultimatum
I can't count how many of my male friends and family have told me horror stories about a nice young lady who ruined the first date with the "Look! I'm too old to play games" speech.  Things may be going very well for you, girlfriend. His tummy is full. He has a smile on his face and he seems sufficiently entertained. Rather than ride that nice gentle wave... you go in for the kill like a great white shark. Don't throw out a time limit on a relationship that hasn't even begun.  "I plan to be married by 33" or "If you don't know within 90 days of being with me, then why mess around with this whole dating thing."  Uh, because it's a process.  Some of you ladies want to shake hands and then jump the broom on your way out of Applebees. Slow down mama!


#4 Money
The same way a woman can do bad by herself so can a man.  Don't start talking about your financial needs at the beginning of a relationship.  The whole, "I need somebody who can do for me" doesn't work.  Yes, men have massive egos and part of their very definition is to take care of us. However, at that point in the game you are a random chick that he views as an "applicant" for future benefits.  When you talk about your car payment, cell phone bill, et al it only screams "I'm broke."  Along these same lines don't talk about what a previous boyfriend did for you. (See Rule #1)  After all, if dude was that tight you'd still be with him. 


#5  Biological Clock
Just don't do it!


Happy Hunting!!!



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